I have always paid close attention to topics /related to “female”, and I think women will be more sensitive to the definition of “beauty”. I admit that paying too much attention to "beauty" will make them narrow, but I cannot deny /that there are a group of people in China who are trying to get closer to the "popular aesthetic", such as big eyes, high nose, nine-headed body, and A4 waist. . . There are a large number of women who will magnify those elements that do not appear in their bodies, and then achieve them through various extreme methods such as plastic surgery and dieting.
So have you ever been anxious about your appearance? I have to admit that I have had anxiety, and I still dare not face the camera without makeup or face myself without beauty and filters. I remember when I was five years old, freckles began to appear on my face, because of my white skin, the freckles would become more obvious. Since then, the topic of freckles has never been cut off. It sticks like a thorn, it doesn’t hurt, until one day, I always remember the scene: I was waiting for the elevator with a senior, and after I said hello to him, he asked me: Why are there so many freckles on your face? At that time, I didn't know how to answer this question. I wanted to slip, but the elevator came. Later, I started to think of ways to cover my freckles, wearing thick-rimmed glasses that could cover most of my face, and choosing dark foundation that didn't suit me. This lack of confidence continued until I graduated from college.
I also had anxiety about my figure. I was 172cm tall and weighed 60kg. These two figures have stayed with me for 10 years. In the eyes of most people, these two numbers are very standard, but for a while, in my eyes, it was not. I know I am not fat, but the number 60 means that I am not thin enough. I want to change the m size of my clothes. Then I started to lose weight, to be precise, minus the number. I weighed myself every day. I only ate one meal a day. I ran every day. I lost 5kg in a month. It was a success. Then I started to overeating. At that time, I seemed to crave any food. I still remember that feeling, when I ate something, my stomach was already bulging but I was still stuffing my mouth. Later, I spent half a year adjusting my diet. Looking back now, I think I was lucky again, not falling into the vicious circle of overeating and then inducing vomiting and anorexia, but I know that someone has fallen into it, and it is not a minority.
I think almost no one is born to be perfect. It also takes a process to face the imperfect. Although I have not done it completely now, I want to share some of my experiences with those in need and face that imperfect self together.